Waiting, wishing, washing.

Hello all!


As the title suggests I am doing 3 things today!
The most mundane and boring being the washing. Not that any of you wonderful peeps really cares that I have a mountain of washing to do but there ya go :D


The waiting refers to a number of things. I am waiting for my nommy, baked sweet potato to be ready so I can totally chow down on it! I am also waiting for aforementioned washing to be done so I can hang it out to dry. 
Aside from that I've gained this crazy sense of empty. I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. I have plenty to do but with my recent string of, seemingly, bad luck, I can't help but feel a little hopeless.
I've mentioned in my previous posts that I had received an unwelcome diagnosis (though at least I know what's wrong now). I feel comfortable enough to now tell you that I've been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Until they do more tests (going for a scan on Saturday) they won't know how bad it is or how to treat it. There are a lot of implications. The two that have hit me hardest are that I may always have acne and that I may have real difficulties having children.
Whilst the acne appears to pale in comparison to the not having children part, it is something that makes me feel ugly and unattractive. I have low self-esteem as it is and finding out that as I grow up the things that "make" me ugly won't go away has knocked me for six.
As for the having children, I have always wanted a family. I know it's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it but I'll feel like half a woman if I can't have kids!


Sorry this is such a downer post but I really need some loving and holding up. The people who should be supporting my aren't and I'm finding that difficult.


The wishing part...well. I wish the PCOS would go away, I wish my family would be a little kinder, I wish everything would come together nicely.

Just let go. Of inhibitons, fears and expectations.
Allow yourself to just be.

But I've got to take what I can get. I have a wonderful partner and his family are amazing. I have good friends and I have a lovely support network online too.
In fact, here's my latest art entry! It's all about letting go of what holds us back from just being and doing!


I really hope you enjoy it. Love you all
xxx Aria